self-pity

i dun realise how fortunate i am. sometimes i do. but well,
now
i think i am the saddest thing on earth.
of smiles and sweet nothings,
i'm trampled and gasping for the last.
although i dun have the right to say this,
i am so unhappy.
with the family especially.
i wonder where this is taking us to.
super fed-up with the father who loves me alot n yet is often found in indulgence of late.
super frustrated with the mother who loves me no less but fails to admit her mistakes.
or rather she chose to live in denial.
we are all escapist.
somtime i wished u all will read this.
but perhaps by then i wished i will be gone.
who knows when we will leave this world one day.
its evolving into a love-hate r/s.
i care.
yet i dun feel like giving a damn anymore.

i am crying so loudly.
in me.
but dun u all hear me at all?

regards,
the irresponsible me.