Emotions...

Am I REALLY a happy person? This question just struck me not long ago... I have been pondering over it, but my final answer "I'm not sure...” Sometimes I think not. I have lots and lots of worries, problems... and it's accumulating daily. At times I feel really tired... tired about thinking too much~ Although some may advise me not to think too much... but I just can't help it at times. I guess I may seem optimistic on the surface, but deep down inside me, I'm quite a pessimistic person. There's this sense of insecurity and fear that's always lingering in my heart.
Sometimes, I may appear to be a carefree person... someone who's humorous, someone who hasn't tasted any downs in life. I think that at times, people are unable to realise when one is unhappy and all these overwhelming worries that’s pulling one apart. Guess I can hide my feelings quite well?! Hee~
Today, I've never stopped frowning ever since I stepped into school. I think I'm not in a very good mood today. So hey guys, if I appear to be unhappy sometimes, it's not your fault, cos it's just me. Anyway, I had p.e today... while strolling on the tracks, I took it as a very good opportunity for me to sort out my thoughts. I recalled all those sweet memories... those times I spent with my CO "family" on the Pasir Ris beach, what we did, what each and everyone of us said. Each and every expression on everyone's face was captured and still running vividly through my mind. Guess these are the moments that will be able to brighten up my darkest days. I'm a dreamy person indeed.
I love to picture my future... where will I be, and what will I be doing. It's not bad to think ahead... As mentioned in one of my fav. books "Who moved my cheese"... Pg 58 (Imagining myself enjoying new cheese even before I find it leads me to it)
Hmn... I may seem to be talkative most of the times. However, when I start to tone down, it's the time when I observe the actions and the behaviors of the people around me. Regardless if you are someone I know or a stranger from nowhere... I'm just interested or I should say curious to guess what's going through the minds of these people. haha... maybe I should consider taking up psychology? hmn.... or maybe law appeals more to me still. ANyway... I think every other human being feels the same... we face lots of dilemmas, thus we must learn to be more decisive in order to overcome more hurdles ahead in life.
Hai~ maybe it's the weather today... that had instilled in me such a gloomy feeling. I think I shall learn to let things take its natural course.
Arrgh…really miss my beloved hairpin too. This precious thing will probably be buried under the sand in the playground forever. Guess~ as what ‘meow meow’ said… treat it as something which holds all the unhappiness and it will be buried there. Recalling what ‘Da Jie’ said… maybe it’s not all meant to be.
Anyway… thanks for making me feel better. I’m truly touched, especially when you guys helped me to ‘hunt’ for that pin.
Yeah! So stay tuned for the next blog then…