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It's finally blogging time for me again... or should i say that i owe this latest entry to all my blog-readers. ahaaha... so sorry, I have been really busy lately with school and all. Well~ as the new year holidays are approaching soon, guess i will have more things to put down wor. So must continue to support this bloggy wor. hehe.
Okie... to say the truth, I am here to pour my feelings. I think that a blog is a good way for you to channel all your thoughts to. Lately, I am experiencing a couple of mixed feelings that fluctuates a great deal like nobody's business. It's not mood swing... but it has got to do with the things occurring around me or rather to the ppl i love alot.
Hmn... I was really fuming mad, I am sensitive, I was sad, I feel vulnerable, I am insecure, I feel a little lost in terms of emotionally, and I really hope that things will be as sweet as before. Yup... maybe girls are more emotional and soft-hearted by nature bah. The more they love the other party, there is an increase in tendency for one to be more posessive i think. And this is not only applied to man who are usually more egoistic, but also to women as well. Why do gals always asks their bf the obvious? Cos probably they just want an assurance which guys can never understand how important it is. well~ guys may feel that it is simply enough to have faith and trust in the relationship and assurance is just something quite negligible. Guess this is probably one of the main distinction between 2 parties in a relationship.
As for me... things between my dear and i have been fluctuating too. To say the truth, I would say that this is all due to the stress and pressure that we have been receiving or rather the acknowledgement that we get among our friends as one item. Everyone's curious, it's like a topic for ppl to poke their nose into. Well~ I do welcome their concern, however overwhelming response will just be an additional stress bah. To be optimistic, I believe this issue will subside sooner or later... Yup...
It's never easy to maintain a relationship and to always keep things in the best condition. Especially for ppl with a perfectionist nature like he and me... perhaps this will put us at a disadvantage because we may feel hurt easily if things do not go well... And whatsmore if my love grow more and more for him as each day passes. * For you (my dear) see, each day i love u more, Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow *.
As time passes, I think I may be becoming more dependant on him emotionally. Yup... looks like it's good as it brings 2 parties closer. However, it may not be the case as it may be an additional stress to him. Well, he didn't say so... or rather he didn't say yes when i asked him, but i believe that Fz should learn to be more independant at times which she will seriously try to. Hmn~ just imagine that days when I was still single yah? The times when I am able to pick myself up and thou shall not be too reliant on the other party. Yeah... but I am growing k. As things develop, I believe that it had helped me to mature somehow. I have learnt from my lessons and mistakes. Each time I falter, I hope that it will make me even stronger. I believe that only with such an attitude, it will bring u even further in future.
I have been kind of unhappy recently. I can't explain why... or maybe I can but I won't put it down here k. So u can ask me if u wanna find out more?? hehe... just to keep my blog-readers in suspense. Well well~ it's easy to say that we have to learn how to forgive and forget, or rather the Chinese saying " Na de qi, fang de xia". Well can I? Maybe I can to some extend... but simply certain things are hard to forget. So i hope time will erase all these unhappy events.
Some ppl say that the most scary element of a woman is the factor of jealousy. No matter how big her heart is... she can never accept it if she had to share her boy boy's heart with another person. Yeah... i think it's normal bah. Same for guys who can never accept his gal for having another guy in her heart. And that is it. A relationship is about committment, about 2 parties sharing their lives, and everything is about 2 and not 1.(2... a pair of rings). And that is when we have to learn how to put ourselves into the shoes of the other party. Well~ I would classify this as a responsibility/duty instead of a chore to do so. Ever since I had accepted another person into my life, I am prepared to consider his feelings in whatver i do, cos he is already a part of me... and I have always hope that this will be mutual, a two-way thing.
Yeah... well setting all these feelings and whatsnot aside...I shall update everybody about my latest activities. Hmn~ have been attending school as usual and also my cca activities. My ccaS are turning me into a compressed 'mad' rabbit with no breathing space. It's highly demanding. I have competitions to attend to for both chess club and co. Preparations and trainings... Oh gosh. It does really test me physically and mentally. And this is where time management comes into place. No time for leisure anymore... or rather less. And this is an extremely important year, so I shall learn to endure then. Yup yup. hopefully, all of us will be able to see the fruit of the labour at the end of the day. Ironically, all these trainings and stress are lessened when i get to do it with all my beloved friends. Things are not really a chore anymore under the company of my dear and them. Because all of us know that we have a common goal to work towards and to acheive it at the end of the day. We have each other as an emotional pillar. Yeah... and I do really love these ppl alot. They make up a best part of my JC life. And these memories will definitely live with me. There's no doubt about that.
Yeah... oh yah, I did CIP the past few days too. Met so many familiar faces at Tm. My joycey dear, yu yan and so many tpjcians plus teachers! wow... kind of amusing though. haha.. Yup. Really miss them.
Hmn... i am pretty excited with the upcoming events. Chinese New Year, Friendship Week and Valentine's day (hehehe...) I wonder what kind of surprises will i receive. Or will I get it in the first place? HMmMMmmn... hehehe. haha... well~ shan't think too much then... shall let things take it's natural course then.
Haven't been feeling well lately. Is it because my poor dear is sick too?! Can it be considered telepathy? ahaha... *blush*. No loh... i think it's due to the weather plus anonymous stress. Must be feeling too heaty. All the dizzy spells, gastric thingy starts to diffuse into me. hehehe... skipped dinner tonight~ no appetite at all. yup... but will learn to take better care of myself. Yup... so dun worry guys.
To everyone out there... must take gd care too k?! See u all around. Will be back to blog REAl Soon. lallalala ;P Btw... if u are reading this, pls tag k. hehe
