arc-en-ciel aka rainbow

i am soooo drained from all the assignments. For your info...i am still sick since the first day of cny. GREAT. guess what... my sexy voice is still there and tmr is already the 15th. i lack rest, lack stamina, lack social life (not becos i dun want to...but simply dun have the time to), lack everything you think of... even my brain juice is reaching it's limits. ah!!! and lately i have been daunted with dizzy spells making me feel nauseous the past few days. oh man... i can imagine the plight of those pregnant and suffering from morning sickness. ok... its a lil exaggerated but i am just a full-pledge nerd. Someone pls congratulate me so i that i feel a lil less alienated...bleah.

It's my holidays alrite.. and i am NOT enjoying it at all. I am entittled every right to play, to date but i cannot ignore my pirorities. And so u hear fz's or rather cassandra's rants again...blablabla..bababa black sheep...-_-" oh man.

Staring into the mirror during my own break time in between assignments...i realised how vain and self-conscious i am. But well as a woman i have every rite to be like that. haha. As long as i do not possess a bird-brain.

I have been having weird dreams lately...i wonder why the past keeps haunting the back of my mind. Its like... i have gotten over it eons ago n life is definitely happier now even before the time we met. But somehow i wished we were still frens.haha. so that i can see how shitty his life is compared to mine which DEFINITELY is better off. haha. oOOps. nah... i am just crapping...i dun mean it. just in a lil bitchy mode now. god bless me, for fz is growing! i still sincerely hope that everythg's doing well. If we ever meet again, perhaps we could set the past aside and talk alot more about life..like adults. I am amazed at my own courage. This is a full-proof sign that i have left things behind with no reminence. Anyway i accept gays as frens too. obvious rite. just that i dun wanna be romantically linked to any...or perhaps...anymore to be more accurate.

Thinking back, i realised that things could be better if love blossomed at the right time..maybe it could last a lifetime if that* took place now. hmmn..cos we r more mature i guess. oh well...its all fated. Sometimes its not only falling for the right person that matters, but falling for the right person at the right time is the answer to the equation.

I seem to have a trouble taking all these seriously anymore although deep down inside i know i really want to. Or perhaps i am just not making any effort to commit full pledge simply because my self-interest is more important now. i really wanna work towards a neverending peak and exploit my youth to achieve the most out of it. As i said, i enjoy attention, limelight..anyway who doesn't? But out of these...its gratifying to one's personal ego yet it sacrifices a heart that could give more. hmmn...

brb when i have an answer to the above scenario. hhaha.

wanna thank dar for all the help in my campaign. muACKZ! love u!