hmmn... back to blogging again. Many things have happened over the weekends till this week. yupz... hmn.. regarding the common tests, i haven't gotten back all my papers. alot of them left half dangling. as in we only know our marks for parts of the papers. yeah. Hmn.. for those that i have gotten back, i would say that i am not satisfied with the results. guess this will serve to push me on and i will not let it put me down so easily. gotta fight for my future!
okie... have also been thinking really alot lately. Have got plans in mind. I know what i wanna do. Have used the time to sort out my piriorities properly. Time is running out and i can feel the stress level rising in me. yup... am i a happy person now? i popped this qns to myself several times recently. perhaps not so... i may seem fine on the outside but probably it's only a facade. Just trying to keep myself busy in order to try and forget or learn to let go of any unhappy happenings in the past. I realised that each time i falter, it may seem hard to get up again on my own during that period of distress. However, i have to learn to stand up...the only person that can help myself beside my love ones is probably only myself. Yup.. i have learnt to be stronger. I had mature in the process. Although, I'm aware that my heart may be crying at times... but i'll learn to face it with courage. I'm not a weakling. Some ppl may disagree with this point. But... perhaps there's this stubborn spirit in me that gives me the determination to hold on no matter what happens. trust me, i'll prove perceptions wrong. Also realised that there's this bad habit about human beings including myself. We have a tendency of formulationg perceptions of ppl without truly understanding who they are. Yesh... ppl may come from different backgrounds. But it doesn't have to indicate that it's a distinciton between ppl living in 2 different worlds. In fact, at times.. the saying that opposite poles attract and like poles repel may hold true in such cases...
Recently, i was asked by someone... what's one of the characteristics of mankind that u hate most? Hmn... it's quite a good qns for reflection especially. Have any of u ever wondered what ur answer will be?
Well to me... i dislike the hyprocrisy in mankind. Ironically... we need it as a survival strategy in this hectic society of today. The pretence that people put up at times can become very unbearable n disturbing. And all one have to do is to respond to it in a similar manner in order to go along with the flow. In this case, it's like a vicious cycle. Cos all of us are 'forced' to do so... Perhaps u may think that we still have a choice whether or not to follow that flow. However, sometimes we have to learn to adapt to the environment we are in and not the other way round. We can only be more than realistic in the practical world of today with lots of political games to play around with... We have to train ourselves to see beyond the horizons, to read in between the lines. Yesh.. this may seem tiring over a period of time if we speculate too much. But it's not too bad to be over-sensitive at times. Although it has it's disadvantages, but at least we try not to neglect the feelings of the people around us. To some others, ignorance maybe a bliss. But being over naive may cause one to stand at the losing end at times.
Lies... who like to be lied at yea? Being a cancer, it has characterisitcs like gentle mood swings and a pretty accurate sensitive gene. Between friends and love ones... trust and being open to each other is an extremely important factor. I feel that there shouldn't be anything to hide about especially with our close ones. I wonder.. at times a deliberate attempt not to hurt someone by telling a white lie may backfire on it's own. Things may be worse when the truth comes to light. By that time, it's inevitable for matters to go hay wire.
Possessing perfectionist nature, i will try to put in my best in whatever that i have committed in. But i realised that it is never easy to give 100% to every single thing. Currently, i will take on the route towards the A's before it's too late...I hope that i'll have the stamina to pull through this hurdle. I foresee that it will be both a tough time i will be undergoing both mentally and physically. Yesh.. i may have countless misses for many others things or people. But i have got to learn and control my temptations. Self-discipline will have to come into place. It's a real tests i believe.
well...i have realised the strong power of friendship lately too. I am so fortuante to have my belclose friends around me whenever i needed them most. It definitely proves the saying " a friend in need is a friend in deed". Ever since, my perception of friendship have reached to even greater heights... thks alot beloved for standing by me, for giving me the courage to tide through difficult times. I hope that our wishes at the fountain will come true... =)
hmm... what do u really want in life? Have u ever thought about it? Is it realistic? or simply a dream u wanna work towards?
