ok... *ahem* sorry(x1000)... i have been real busy lately. In fact not only busy working...busy being sick... busy dating...yada yada. Ooops. haha. =)

Here's the long awaited entry... before this, i did one of the wildest thg i have ever done so far this wkend at momo. argh. just treat me as invicible.. =X

I like this book "Secrets about life every woman should know"...
In 10 pointers,
1.)Everything you need to be happy is inside of you.
2.)The purpose of life is for you to grow into the best human being you can be.
3.)Change is inevitable, so stop resisting and surrender to life's flow.
4.)All obstacles are lessons in disguise-honour n learn them
5.)Your mind creates your experience of reality, so make your mind your friend.
6.)Fear will steal your aliveness-make your courage bigger than your fear.
7.)You must love yourself before you can truly give love or receive love from anyone else.
8.)All relationships are your mirrors and all people are your teachers.
9.)True freedom comes from how you respond to life and not what life does to you.
10.)Whatever the qns, love is the answer.

Alright... i think some of you may be a little bored with this entry if u are not the kind that are into management bks like me. haha. well, this book isn't my bible neither my chant. So pls dun get me wrong~ it isn't fz's life sutra. And i am not saying that i agree to every single thing that's stated above. haha. The things pointed out by the author are simple, yet the glaring fact is that it's somethg we have always overlooked or run away from in life. Including myself.

"YOur negative thoughts about others dun hurt them-they hurt you"
-Actually most of us have the false notion that a negative thought is like an arrow targetted at someone, hoping it will cause hurt. But in fact not. Because of power, a false sense of strength n aggression rushes into us as though we are hurting that someone. However, when we use words like 'I hate u'.. that person we targetted at do not feel it. Instead we receive all these negative feelings. It's pain. It spoils our day. We sulk n sulk but u know what... nothing's gonna change...

"Becoming the witness"
Have you ever realised that there's apart of you that watches everythg that goes on in ur life like a cosmic spectator? It's our witness. It's not our mind, emotions or senses... just our pure consciousness. Somethg that reminds us that we are awake n you are you n not someone else. Most of us become so identified with our thoughts or feelings that we forget we even are the witness. That's how we go off-track and lose ourselves so easily. Honestly, I know I have lost myself b4. It would be like forgetting that you're the one watching the movie in the theater n thinking instead that you are the actor in the screen. We have to include ourselves in what we are watching about our lives in order to gain control of ur mind.That is somethg that i find so hard to accomplish. It's difficult to learn to watch my thoughts w/o identifying with it. Sometimes we feel so fucked up is because we gotta stop judging n battling with whatever we are thinking...At times, we ask, "How can i get rid of all my negative thoughts," the answer is,"You can't". It's natural for us to respond to our senses.. that's y man's greatest enemy isn't anyone but their own mind.

"Relationships are the perfect classroom"
It is there where we learn our most important life lessons, with our loved ones as our perfect teachers. True to speak, the people you love will be able to affect u in ways no one else can. They are able to reach to u more profoundly, probe more deeply n push you up against ur issues more effectively. Just wonder... Can anyone push your emotional buttons as infuriatingly as your intimate partner? Can anyone make u feel so out of control n volatile as your own family member? Can anyone make u cry out loud as your own close friends n not strangers?

After reading this bk, i realised that our loved ones do not sit down n patiently explain to us on our shortcomings. It's when they do or say things that make it difficult to love them or yourself as much as you should. Or perhaps by behaving in ways that challenges ur strengths n stretches your limits. They expose our weaknesses and show u ur vulnerabilities. In fact,our loved ones act as a mirror and they force you to look at everything about yourself that is not loving... that u can't wait to escape from...

Some interesting facts i have found too...(but it's still more theoretical n almost impossible for people like me to carry out... haha.)
-slow people teach you patience.
-angry people teach u evenness and stillness.
-abusive people teach u self-respect.
-emotionally shut down people teach you unconditional love.
-dishonest people teach u integrity.
-stubborn people teach u flexibility.
-frightened epople teach you courage.

how true yeah... indeed it's always the opposite. However, it's hard to practise. I can frankly say that i am not too big-hearted to be able to attain the above qualities...

"One of the greatest love lessons we can learn is knowing when the time has come for one of our love teachers to depart, and knowing how to let go of him or her with compassion, forgiveness, and gratitude"

This is something that will take place with time i guess. Well, i am not sure how well-proven this saying is. Anyway, it makes some sense to me... to some of u, it may sound a little crappy n impossible i know. But at least it sounds consoling to some i think..

Perhaps the hardest word isn't sorry... but is to bid "goodbye" .. regardless if it's a break-up or losing someone to death. At this moment, many of us become confused. It is the time where it will hit the softest spot of many human beings unless anyone of u are cold-blooded which i choose to believe not. haha. Even when many signs signal that the r/s should be over, even when it feels that everything's has changed, we still lose our ability to analyse n judge... thus we often cling on to the person n refuse to let go.. Maybe not physically but least emotionally-attached. Guess there are people who are meant to be in our lives over a long period of time, taking us on a course of love lessons. However, there are people who are simply meant to find us our path, do what they agreed to n disappear... I understand that it's always hard to come to terms that the emotional contract has expired. We stop asking ourselves why... because no one can explain so. Not even the parties invloved. We can blame no one... not even the highest power above us when our loved us are taken away from this world. Fate i guess. Somethg that u may decide to manipulate n take charge of but ultimately, the control is not all in ur hands.

One thg is for sure-when ur lessons with each other have been learned, you will find yourselves being pulled apart in one way or another... that is the way the game works..

brb...=)